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the journey continued
11 AUG 2007 UTC-0820 ago
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TESTIMONY
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In the summer of 2005, I had the amazing blessing of being a part of the Prior Lake Baptist Church missions trip to South Africa. On June 25th, 2005, I boarded an airplane for what turned out to be one of the most influential experiences of my life. However, the road leading me to South Africa was a little rocky. Initially, when I made the commitment to go on the missions trip, I was extremely excited. As time went by, I began having serious doubts about going on the trip, and I was ready to back out. After praying about it, and talking with my mom, I began to feel like God really was leading me to go on the missions trip to South Africa, so I decided I would go. God definitely knew what He was doing; He totally used this missions trip to help change me and shape me into what He wants me to be. Going into the missions trip, I had absolutely no desire for long-term missions - that was absolutely not for me. I had essentially "committed" my life to God, but only based upon my terms. It was not until I went on this trip that God began to show me areas of my life that I needed to change.
God began working in my life from the very moment I stepped foot on the airplane, and He continued to work mightily throughout the whole trip. Once we arrived in South Africa, we immediately jumped into ministry. We were able to help in daycares, assist with building projects, minister through testimonies and special music, participate in door-to-door evangelism, and so much more. In the midst of all these activities, I really began to feel a tugging at my heart. One day, as I spent some time with the Lord, I began to read through my favorite Scripture passage - Philippians 4. This was a passage I had read several times before, but I felt as though I was reading it with new eyes. Being in South Africa, I had experienced the joy and contentment of people who have very few material possessions, meager living conditions, and no knowledge of the gospel, yet they were so incredibly happy and giving. As I came to verse 11, conviction began to fill my heart - "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." At that moment, I realized that many of the people in South Africa, who had few material possessions and did not have a relationship with Jesus Christ, were living out the words of Philippians 4:11 better than I was - they were so content and happy with their lives. God has blessed me in so many ways - He has given me family, health, food, housing, and so much more. Even greater than those material things, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. However, I realized that I was not nearly as joyful and content as these people who had so little. As I read Philippians 4:11, it was a rebuke to my life and it truly humbled me.
The night before we left South Africa to fly back to the United States, we were having a "debriefing" time at the Zak's house, and one of the team members gave a very humbling challenge. He talked about the difference between commitment and surrender to God. It was then that I realized that I had committed my life to God, but I had not completely surrendered my life to Him. Of course, I had received God's gift of salvation and I had given Him control of most areas of my life; but, as I said before, all the control I had given God was based upon my terms. At that moment, I realized that I could not keep holding things back from God. When I went back to my room that night, I told God that I wanted to live a life that was not just committed, but completely surrendered to Him, even if that meant missions. Ever since then, complete surrender to God has been my goal. Of course, I have not always been successful - complete surrender is not a one-time thing; it is a continual, moment-by-moment dying to self, giving everything to God.
Coming back from the missions trip, something happened in my life and it was enough to surprise everyone that knows me - God totally changed my heart toward missions, and I really began to feel like He was leading me to go back to South Africa. I began to pray that God would open and close doors, as He saw fit. A few weeks later, our family invited the Zakariasen's over to our home for dinner and fellowship. At that time, I was not planning to tell them of my desire to go back to South Africa, I simply wanted to wait until God had showed me His will. Well, one of the first things Kevin said when he walked in the door was "How would you like to come back to South Africa and help us for one year?" I proceeded to tell the Zakariasen's of the desire I had to go back to South Africa, and told them I would pray about it. For many months, I prayed about it and sought counsel from family and friends, and I really began to feel that God was directing me to go back to South Africa. It has been amazing to see God's hand in everything. Things have come together so smoothly and quickly - something that can only be attributed to the power of our great God! I am very excited to see how God will work as I follow Him down this new path on a journey to South Africa.
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“Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." ~ Psalm 73:25-26
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